Writer Mama Riffs on Raising A Writing Career Alongside Your Kids

If you are looking for writer mama insights, inspiration and ideas, check out the latest Writers on the Rise. Here’s what the writer mama columnists suggest this month:

Wendy Burt shares how to write for novelty companies and land a column!

Hope Clark tells us how to save time this summer by hiring our kids!

Lori Russell interview my wonderful agent, Rita Rosenkranz!

Sharon Cindrich helps parents plan for summer!

Abigail Green helps us understand the anatomy of a magazine!

And that’s just the first half of the June issue. More at the end of the month.

In the meantime, feel free to post you writing success stories on our June Roar Board along with our contributors and subscribers.

You can subscribe to have Writers on the Rise delivered to your inbox while you are visiting the blog. Just click on the envelope illustration in the upper right-hand corner.

Here’s a terrific quote in her weekly post, which arrives in my inbox every Monday by e-mail:

I’ve said this before, and I’ll say it again: having a job you love has everything to do with simple living. When you live the way you truly want to, and step off society’s treadmill that values money, prestige, long hours, and status above satisfaction, creativity, and freedom, then you are living simply on the best of terms. There are certainly sacrifices involved in pursuing your dreams, but the sacrifice you make in not pursuing them is even greater.

Check out The Smart Woman’s Guide to the Simple Life for yourself. It very quietly rocks!

Or I’m going to just jump off.

Finished a feature-length home profile for Country Sampler this morning. Worked the better part of the weekend.

It makes me grumpy just to type that b/c I’m not supposed to work over the weekend. But I got more waylaid than I expected by my trip to New York (which is already a week in the past—how can that be?).

Someone wrote about time moving faster in a blog entry I clicked by earlier today and that sounds accurate to me. At least that’s how the past three months have felt since my book came out.

I put a tremendous amount of energy out into the world…a beautiful first book. I’m still very proud of it. Actually, I’m probably more proud of it than before. But now I need to rest and take some family time.

I’m not quite there yet but I’m getting there. Finishing the feature was a big step closer. Playing catch-up on paperwork will be another. Getting on top of my zines and wrapping up my classes and then…I am actually allowed to take a vacation.

What I mean is, I am actually going to allow myself to take a vacation.

That’s sounds wonderful and terrifying at the same time.

My last day of “work” (in June) will be the 21st. And then I’m taking the rest of the month totally off.

Totally off! Now I like the sound of that.

I think we’ll go to Crater Lake…the Oregon shore…maybe hit Ashland.

Hopefully my computer won’t explode between now and then. It is totally utterly full.

56 Gigabytes??? How did I create that much stuff? I have definitely been busy.

Almost time to empty out…

Working on my presentation, “Get Known Before the Book Deal,” for the Writer’s Digest Books/BEA Writing Conference.

No problem with the presentation but the excitement is causing butterflies in my belly that could probably fly me to New York without any help from JetBlue!

I have heard that excitement can be as hard on the ol’ body as stress. After all the excitement I have had this year, I can testify…it’s true. You have to take it easy and slow on this stuff.

I’ve been so busy, I hadn’t been able to bring myself to look at who-all is going to be at the BookExpo itself. It’s pulse-quickening, I’ll tell you. And it’s hard to work afterwards.

Breathe. Breathe. Okay.

Here are links to the online homes of some of the folks who I’ll see there and can’t wait to meet:

Keynote Speaker: Novelist, Jodi Picoult

Other presenters:

Donald Maas, Donald Maas Literary Agency

John Warner, editor of McSweeney’s Internet Tendency

Moi!

Keith Flynn, founder/editor of the Asheville Poetry Review, author of The Rhythm Method, Razzmatazz and Memory

Les Edgerton, author of Hooked, Write Fiction That Grabs Readers at Page One and Never Lets Them Go

Maria Schneider, editor, Writer’s Digest

Okay, that gets us through the keynote and the first round of breakout sessions.

More later. Must go plant feet back in ground. I am feeling like just about the most blessed writer on the planet!

I am thinking about what’s fresh. Think of the word FRESH.

According to Webster it means “recently harvested or showing no signs of decay.”

What does it mean to you?

What does it mean to you as a writer?

I’d say it means a lot.

What do you do to keep things fresh in your career? (Don’t ask me right now, I do something new practically every day, but that was my goal this year.)

What are you doing that’s keeping things fresh?

Are you researching the latest studies on your topics?

Are you putting a fresh spin on a tired-and-true evergreen?

Are you making your lede sentence snap open like a sweet pea?

Is your bio fresh?

Is your idea file fresh?

How long has it been since you refreshed your portfolio?

A fresh writer’s conference? (I found the Willamette Writers Conference brochure to be very, very fresh.)

A fresh take on how you are doing (a consult, some coaching, or a class?).

Have you freshened up your workspace lately?

I gotta tell you. Editors and publishing houses are not the only ones who are constantly on the lookout for fresh. We all are. And when we find fresh we just slurp it right up.

Speaking of fresh…excuse me while I practice what I preach…and um, take a shower. I just love the fresh smell of this body butter my friend Kelly gave me when we went to Seattle. It’s Pacifica, Mediterranean Fig scented. I could just eat it, it smells so good!

Oops, I almost forgot! Here’s the link to something incredibly fresh! The May issue of Writers on the Rise.

Visit our homepage to subscribe to something fresh!

Children are like little extensions of our souls, aren’t they?

I was thinking that this morning while driving home from the dog park.

That’s how I feel about my beautiful daughter Samantha. She is such a gift. And she has taught me so much about making the most of not just today but every single moment.

And to think that some day we will have loved her so much that she will be able to stand solidly on her own two feet in the world…just thrills me so much. In fact, she’s not doing such a bad job today.

I feel really proud of her. And I am not a perfect mother by any means. Thank goodness perfection is not a requirement of motherhood.

There was a time in my life when I felt like I was waiting for my “real life” to begin.

It was a period of waiting. Followed by waiting. And more waiting.

Around the age of 28, I woke up. And started to realize who I am. I think it was the beginning of the realization that I am allowed to just be who I truly am.

The awareness that who I am is enough.

If I could give one gift to my daughter and all girls, women, mothers, and grandmothers, it would be the awareness that whoever you are is enough.

Right at this moment, without therapy or plastic surgery or a makeover or whatever seems like it might help.

I may have inadvertently stumbled upon the key to contentment, because if I am enough than it doesn’t matter that my home is untidy. It doesn’t matter that I am tired and a bit hormonal right at the moment. It doesn’t matter that the world is a really imperfect place or that my husband is busy with his play or that all the members of our extended family lives thousands of miles away. It doesn’t even matter that I can’t keep up with all my girl friends.

In short, it doesn’t matter that I am living a big, fat, messy life. The fact that I accept it and can accept myself without the need for striving today means I feel blessed and rich and right with the world.

Today’s imperfection is more perfect than any of my wildest fantasies.

This Mother’s Day I hope you discover the freedom of imperfection. And I hope relishing it makes you giddy with joy.

Amen.

Editors want what the judges on American Idol want. And writers can assess their strengths and weaknesses through the lens of the four finalists on American Idol.

Try it. It’s fun.

Melinda: The Technician
As an editor I know how refreshing it is to work with a writer who is technically excellent. What I mean is a writer who turns in appropriate, well-written, polished writing every single time. And impeccable technicians are generally conscientious. They turn in work on time or early. They are impeccable and that makes them a pleasure to work with. Sort of like Melinda on American Idol. Let’s face it, she’s spot-on most of the time. If you are a Melinda-writer, you can plan on steady success in your writing career by virtue of your technical excellence.

Blake: Uniqueness in Action
As an editor I also know that I love to receive a submission that is fresh, with a unique take or spin, especially if it’s not self-conscious, but rather playful or just left-of-center. I am usually willing to put in extra time with a Blake, in order to nurture a fresh voice. But a Blake can’t be arrogant or that just spoils all the fun. Not all editors will go the extra mile for a humble Blake, but I will every time. A Blake-writer is the underdog. The one you can’t help rooting for. The one who reminds you not to forget your own uniqueness.

Lakisha: She Moves Us
As an editor and a reader I naturally gravitate towards writing that moves me. Writing that has some heat, a strong emotional through-line, or that inspires me. If it gives me chills when I read it, as Lakisha often does when she sings, well, heck, I’ll follow that writer just about anywhere. The ability to move people can’t be co-opted. It’s a gift. It’s a rare writer who can stay steady and passionate at the same time. As an editor, I’m inclined to forgive a mistake or two for a writer, who can give me chills the way Lakisha can.
Jordin: Pure Promise
Though many writers are under the impression that only the Melindas get the contracts, I am sure I am not the only editor who is inclined to encourage a writer with potential, even when current work is less than perfect. I’m not just talking about talent. I am a firm believer that talent is NOT what launches or sustains writing careers. Let’s just call it a sparkly quality. Something subtle—an energy or glow—that suggests good things to come. Conscientiousness can also entice an editor to take a chance on a Jordin-writer.

I think all writers probably share the qualities of the four American Idol candidates to a certain degree

Which Idol are you most like?

Writing is a fairly competitive business where so much of success depends on determination and perseverance. How might you draw forth some of the powers of the other Idols?

Know your strengths. Address your weaknesses. And leverage the skills you have.

In Writer Mama, I call this playing the strongest cards in your deck.

That’s what the candidates on American Idol do and that’s what writers do too.

It’s Sarah Ban Breathnach’s birthday and she’s giving away this awesome poster:

Ten Authentic Truths to Live By

I love it. So I’m sharing it will all of you.

You can download it here.

One of my favorite lines is:

“The more risks you take, the luckier you become.”

That is so very true. At least, I have found it to be true.

Check it out! And let Mother’s Day week begin!

Yes, that’s right. I said “May.” Can you believe it?

Where did April go? (Oh, right. Taxes!)

But good news, this means Mother’s Day is right around the corner. If you’ll be near Lake Forest Park, Washington, come on by and pick up a signed copy (or two)!

Here’s the details:

Third Place Books
Friday, May 4th at 6:30 p.m. @ Third Place Books, 17171 Bothell Way NE, Lake Forest Park, WA 98155, 206-366-3316, www.thirdplacebooks.com, Free

As promised, this is part two on the topic of rejection…

Let’s assume you get past your fear of rejection to the point where you are sending out enough writing to garner plenty of rejection.

This is great!

Why would I say that?

Because once your writing is rubbing up against the folks who may wish to buy rights to your work, you actually have a chance of being published.

But what if you are sending plenty of work out and receiving plenty of rejection in return, but not as much success as you would like?

There are several things you can do to change this:

1. Pay close attention to what you are submitting. Does it represent your best writing efforts? Does it sparkle, sing, and shine? If it doesn’t, I can tell you as an editor that second-best is never as good as best. An editor will always go for the polished piece of writing that is ready for publication rather than the piece that has “potential.” I know, for me, as a writing instructor, I deal with potential all the time. But as an editor, I’m looking for “good to go.”

2. Analyze the comments are you receiving back. If nothing or at least nothing that tells you anything about your writing (this is common, btw), you may wish to enlist the services of a professional editor or teacher, who will work with you to help you identify and overcome your weaknesses so that you can submit the kind of work that gets selected for publication.

3. Solicit feedback from other sources. Mentors may help you by critiquing your work from time to time, but it’s probably a better idea to ask your writing buddy or writing group to critique your work, if this is something you need on an ongoing basis.

4. Consider the frequency of your submissions. I have discovered in my Pitching Practice class that the more students put themselves through the query-writing paces, the better queries they write. And the more, generally speaking, they just start to “get” the way the relationship between writers and editors works.

5. Consider the level of professionalism you employ when submitting your work. Perhaps you write well and appropriately, but your submission methods could use a little spit-shine. This is an area that requires your attention, as most editors and agents I know appreciate a certain amount of formality. They also definitely appreciate being treated with respect and with consideration for how hard they work.

So, if you are thinking, “What have editors done for me lately?” You might want to pull a J.F.K. and ask instead, “What have I done for editors?”

In case you haven’t heard me say it before, there is not anyone in the publishing industry—and this goes for writers, agents, editors, sales folks, and everyone—who is not working extremely hard in a very competitive environment.

Writing is hard work requiring concentration, effort, thoughtfulness, and so much more. Are you willing to devote that kind of energy to your writing career?

If so, you will lick that bad boy, rejection, eventually.

If you’d like a second opinion on this topic, Wendy Burt has written about it recently in Writers on the Rise.